When I was in first year, I took a special one/two-hour Spanish class during a special school week. Our teacher then told us that the session was important because the school will be sending delegates to Spain for the World Youth Day (WYD) in the next school year. I was really hoping to be chosen because I wanted to go to Spain and it’s WYD! I might meet the pope! When I was in second year, 50 (I think… they were hand picked) seniors went to Madrid, Spain as our school’s official delegates to the 2011 WYD. I really thought that the delegates may come from different batches. When second year ended, my mom told me to study hard because the next batch of delegates to the next WYD would be coming from our batch. I was determined to go to Rio de Janeiro in 2013. When third year came, I found out that we can apply for the delegation (so not totally hand picked), and that only 15 girls will go. “Oh well,” I told myself, “I will apply. I want to go and enrich my faith and meet people from different parts of the globe. I will do everything to get the money to fly to Brazil.”
Application forms were available in the second floor of our building…on the other side of the corridor. The corridor is so long. So, that triggered my sloth; I did not apply for the WYD. I also thought about the expenses. The school won’t shoulder everything, so my parents would still need to shell out almost Php200,000 or my tuition for two years. So, I didn’t apply, because I may be accepted but I may not have enough money to go so my heart would just get broken.
So the list of the applicants who will advance to the interview came out. My teacher read the list aloud, and unexpected names were there, and expected names weren’t there. Everyone asked me why I didn’t get in, and I told them that I didn’t apply. They all told me “Sayang, Cloie. Siguro nakapasok ka kung nag-apply ka!” I was sad when the list came out… Really sad. Then, the final delegates were finally chosen. All three applicants from my class got in, and of course I was happy for them. But then, I was shocked with the finalists…
I really think that some people that aren’t delegates but were applicants (the interviewed ones) really deserve to be delegates. I really think that some people who applied but didn’t get in the list of those to be interviewed deserved to be on the list. And, there goes the little thought that some delegates don’t deserve to go for some reasons and things I’ve heard and saw. But hey, I SHOULD be happy for them. But… I just can’t right now. I was stupid, and there were WYD application forms in the parish office and I didn’t bother getting one even if I really want to go and see the pope even from a distance. Oh well, I would still want to attend three weeks of school in July of my last year in high school.
I’m sorry for posting two consecutive password-protected posts. I just had to let things out, but not all can see those. If you want to read either one or both posts, just comment here the post title, then I will send the password to your email address. Thank you for understanding!