It took me almost a week to finish this post. I don’t know… I keep on crying.
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My junior year officially ended last Wednesday. Although I still have to go to school for a week for campus ministry obligations, nothing will ever be the same again. I didn’t cry in school, but I did when I got home. I had the worst day to end my best school year. Everything just sunk in after a few hours of replaying the events of the day. First, those devastating exam results, then the news of teachers who are leaving, then my classmates. I watched 50 First Dates to cheer me up, but no. Last Thursday, I went to school for practice, hoping to see anyone that I wanted to see. I saw no one. I watched Pearl Harbor and I cried a bucket, then “There You’ll Be” played and I was like “THIS IS MY SONG OF THE MOMENT”. I also talked to people who are dear to me while watching…and that made everything get even more emotional. Last Friday, I went to school and talked to some teachers during the break and after practice. I went to my best friend’s condo and had a little fun. I went home and checked my Facebook account, seeing tons of notifications. As I went through different stuff on Facebook, things hit me bad.
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I love you, III-4. You’re my “perfect class”, complete with the perfect set of teachers for our class. Even if we’re not really one whole of a class, we can all be united by our randomness. I will love you forever, even though I get pissed whenever I would produce this very Filipino sound (what) just to make you shut up and even if I get pissed when some of you think that the members of your circle of friends are the only members of the class. I love you, III-4. You are the reason for all my SAVA and peacekeeper efforts. I love you forever, guys, even if you find me irritating and such a bitch.
Miss Trish, I know that we’re not as close as you are to my other classmates since I’m not your student in English, but I do want you to know that I love you so much. I want to thank you for the little things we’ve shared and the little talks we’ve had… and the heart-warming hugs and tokens of love. Thank you for everything! ❤
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To my dearest Miss Pante, Miss Angel, Miss Siopongco and Miss Alie… HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME??? YOU’LL MISS MY GRADUATION! Nah I’m just kidding. Thank you for the ten wonderful months (well for Miss Alie, 20 months) you spent with me and my classmates. That you for putting up with my stories about school and how I’m failing/doing bad in certain subjects, my life and other stuff. Thank you for entertaining my questions and stories. Thank you for the many things I’ve learned from you, whether if they are about your subjects or they are about life. Thank you for guiding me throughout the year (well Miss Alie, for two years). You have truly touched me in many ways. I hope and pray that God will bless you and protect you always, no matter where you go and what you do. You’ll always be in my heart. Thank you for your time, talents and skills. I want to make you proud to repay you for all your hard work for me and my classmates. One day… One day. I really wish that you could see me go up the stage to get my diploma. Come on, you were the ones who were with me and Pink go along the way, not the new teachers of the underclassmen that would witness Pink’s graduation. But still, thank you! You mean so much to me. 🙂
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As for my whole third year experience, I loved you and I hated you at the same time, but I loved you more. I grew a lot this year. I cried a lot, laughed a lot, got wounded and got healed. Junior year was a roller coaster ride, and I thank God everyday that I went through that dreadful ride yet exciting. They say that third year is the toughest year in high school. Well, it is…it really is. It’s not just about school – it’s also about your relationships with others, with your personal God and yourself. Third year tested me, and I survived. I know I can handle senior year. I will conquer you, physics.
My brain cannot process anymore; it cannot come up with the last three paragraphs of my literary criticism paper. It cannot process the chapter on World War II, my Chemistry notes, or even the Sparknotes pages for Wuthering Heights. It cannot stop throbbing, but my eyes want to stay open. And every now and then, my phone would vibrate, telling me that my two best friends texted. Yes, this is the life of an almost high school junior emerita ( intentionally used emerita not in its context…it just sounds nice. YEAH).
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We have so many deadlines to meet and much more tests to take (whether tests of knowledge, faith, friendship, trust, etc.) in the last seven or eight academic days, and I don’t know if I can actually handle this. My emotions are also in bad timing lately. Why is it that I feel like I have a love life DURING THE LAST MONTH OF THE SCHOOL YEAR…THE MOST STRESSFUL MONTH WE HAVE?!?!? So many feelings, and I just want to spend my last days of junior year with my friends and teachers (minus the teachers’ requirements) before the bell rings for the last time. I want the stress to end, but not my time with them…or am I just clingy?
Or maybe it’s because I’m scared of fourth year and college preparations. Yeah, I guess it’s that. Oh life, I am not yet prepared for you. I just want to write right now, but not for my lit crit. I just want to make another cover. I just want to escape from the stress I have as of this moment. Haaaah. I have to make up for my low midterm grades. They suck like eggs. But come on, I have a life to live. School is not my everything.
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But yeah, I will miss third year. I’ll miss the best homeroom class I’ve ever been part of, my awesome teachers that brought me so much pain in different ways, the pretty irritating seniors that I love (well, at least I love our club president and my busmates), the lessons (lessons, not the stress), my chicas in Spanish class (although majority of the class irritate me), my prom tablemates, my crazy friends (the Z Gurlz)… I will miss everything about my junior year, okay even the stress. I will even miss that fail prom experience (I curse the DJ that didn’t know how to set a mood and took time to play songs to the points that there were long pauses) and that kilig feeling whenever I read my crush’s name in anything I use for school. Yeahp. I will miss the magic of third year.
It was a pretty rough year. They were all right that third year is the best and the worst out of the the best and worst four years of life.