Back to Sticks Called Crutches

Getting new glasses can bring me so much pain…as in so much pain, and an injury.

Sunday night: I was wearing my new glasses, and I was going down the only step in our house just to put my stuff in my school bag. Since it’s adjustment stage for me, I don’t know what happened. I tripped on my right foot and I gave all my weight to my left foot, making me kind of twist or stretch my left knee, making me fall down. I hugged my knee while I screamed in pain. After an hour, I arrived at the emergency room of PCMC. It was 10:30pm. I saw a number of families sleeping in the waiting area near the emergency room. I don’t know why they were there, but the kids, I took pity on.

I rested in the “pay room”, and I was beside a six month old baby girl. She kept on crying and her mom and granddad couldn’t make her sleep. The baby looked at me, and I did the famous “close-open” hand gesture that babies are supposed to imitate. She would stop crying every time I would do it, and she would look upset whenever I would stop doing it. What an angel…what could be wrong with her?

It was 12am, and I proceeded to have an x-ray photo of my left knee. According to initial findings, there is nothing wrong with my bones, although the doctor (who is not an orthopedic) said that she was unsure of the gap of my bones. I went back to the pay room and I found the cute baby still awake, although she was much hyper that time. She was already dancing! What a cutie. I fell asleep, and I woke up at 2:30am. I found the baby awake, but according to the mother, the baby fell asleep for a while. I went home after 30 minutes, and neither me nor the baby’s mom know what’s wrong with the baby. No one would tell them the result of the urinalysis.

Monday, and I was walking around with my old crutches…the crutches that I used six to seven years ago when I got my ankle fractured. Kelvin came over and he stayed until 9:30pm. I was happy, even if I missed school (and I hate missing school). But the happiness only lasted when Kelvin was with me. Everyone kept on telling me to move my knee, which I reluctantly do. Based on my instinct, I shouldn’t move it. Mom would scold me if I didn’t move it. Mom would scold me if I didn’t use only crutch. Mom would scold me if I’d tell her to wait because I have to get my balance when I’m only using one crutch.

I went back at PCMC and I saw a bunch of kids. I really find kids soooooooo adorable! While waiting for my turn, I amused myself with kids that passed by, the messenger people whatever of pharmaceutical companies that go from clinic to clinic, the TV that only showed advertisements, and Kelvin’s text messages. It was finally my turn in the doctor’s office. Yep, he told me not to move my knee. Nice one, people in the ER who told me nothing about moving my knee. Nice one, parents who assumed that I can move my knee. There must be something that is torn inside. I got a knee immobilizer and I had an MRI taken.

I’ve been doing some thinking… This is all my fault. I’m missing school because I’m so careless, because I’m not doing anything to trim down. But hey, I didn’t want this to happen. Now, I’m just thinking that this happened for a reason.

I’m thinking that a reason is that I need to rethink about my career. Over the weekend, I’ve been thinking about my elective and how much I want to learn about and work with concerning the human brain. Last Sunday, my secret desire of becoming a doctor devoured me. All those sick kids got to my soft spot. If only I had the power, I would’ve healed them instantly. I realized how poor the country is, in terms of public healthcare. Images of those people (especially children) who are suffering because of their illnesses at home because they don’t have the money for proper healthcare. At that moment, I thought “if I’m gonna be a doctor, I’d make a lot of money, establish a foundation for children’s healthcare and education, and build a hospital for children and mothers.” If ever I’d become a doctor, that is what I will do.

That reason aside, I still hate this situation. Oh well. I hope these two sticks I use for helping me in walking would go to people who desperately need them after I use them. And hopefully, this knee of mine would allow me to go to school soon. Lastly, I hope for better health care in this country.


I Can Feel The Stress

It’s been a while since my last post. I didn’t post my planned end-of-the-summer post, my start-of-the-school year post and my birthday post. Well, I’m writing again. I’m supposed to be doing my homework for my elective (Introduction to Child and Adolescent Development/Introduction to Child Development and Education), but I’m here, writing something else. 😛


I can totally feel the pressure of being a senior high school student. On the first day of my English class, I was so overwhelmed. A position paper and debates for the first term and a mini-thesis on the third term. Meaning, loads of research. I am quite excited for Science, too. But I bet loads of research comes with being in the advanced class. And here comes my elective…all about the child’s brain. And yes, the pressure about college is here now. I’m scared.


Today was the first day of electives. I ended up with my third choice ON PAPER. If you ask the real me, I still want to be a teacher. I’ve been lying to myself all this time. Why? Parents. Not to dwell on that now… I had loads of fun in those 80 minutes with our dear principal, who is now also my elective teacher. It’s not just the teacher, but the course itself. I love children, I want to be an awesome teacher, and I’ve always been fascinated by the brain and how it works and develops.


Well, if I don’t get to study education, at least I got into this elective. 😀

Walang Magawa…Ulit

Ayaw kong magbasa ng Wicked. Ayaw kong mag-advanced reading sa Physics. Ayaw ko ring magcover ng kanta. Ayaw ko ring makinig sa kanta. Gusto kong manood ng movie, pero hindi ko magawa. Gusto kong kausapin ang mga kaibigan ko, pero hindi naman nagsisireply (o kaya bitch mode nanaman si Globe kaya hindi ko mareceive yung mga reply nila). Gusto kong maglakwatsiya at mamili ng gamit para sa school, pero tinatamad ang lahat.

Hmm…dapat kasi na sa labas ako ngayon. Oh well…wala nanaman akong magawa. At dinaan ko nanaman sa blog ko.