I was looking through the psychology and self-help books section at Fully Booked Katipunan earlier, hoping to find a book that could help me with my problem. I found books that seem to be good ones, but I didn’t have enough money to buy even just one book. I found this book called “NLP for Writers”. I just had to jot the book details down because I want it soon. Kelvin suddenly surprised me from behind. I stopped looking at the psychology books and stpped worrying for a while. It’s not always that I see my baby, so might as well spend my time with him. But the moment I got home, it was as if everything was tough again.
Seeking for professional help is pretty hard for me, but when I got to talk to the psychiatrist, I told her everything as if she was my best friend. I had to let things out, and she gave me answers…though they’re pretty scientific. Again, I had to remind myself that I was talking to a doctor and not just a guidance counsellor. I found out that my accumulated stress has affected my brain so much…to the point that the doctor wants me to take an anti-depressant to help my brain get back to normal, along with counselling.
Everything that’s going on with me’s related to the high stress levels: weird sleeping and eating patterns, extreme mood swings, loss of interest in hobbies (that explains why I write less), loss of focus, duller memory, shorter temper, hypertension, high cholesterol levels, mild fatty liver… No wonder things weren’t the same as before, and everything’s getting worse. My whole body is stressed out, then the depression from everything that came with the injury came in. I started to get low grades (I got a freaking C in Math…good bye graduation honors), and the greatest depression I ever felt kicked in. To be honest, I’m still pretty depressed. I guess I never really recovered from my past issues. Had I known that everything’s affecting my brain so much, I would’ve just let things pass by.
No one lives without stress, but I think I’ve had too much of it at this stage. Well, I guess I need to go through all of these…maybe God’s telling me something. That aside, this is why I think every child should have a psychologist. Some kids just take their own lives, because they couldn’t handle things anymore. I almost became one of those kids, and I’m really happy that I didn’t become one of them. I realized that there’s more to life than what I have now. I guess I just fix things up.
Everything will turn out to be well… I just have to make things happen.