Changing

They say that the only permanent thing in this world is change. Seasons change, things change, people change. It’s obvious that it happens, but we sometimes have a hard time accepting that reality, especially when it comes to people.

People change and develop throughout their whole lifetime, but there are some things that don’t change within a person. It may be their personality, their traits, their habits, their tendencies, their way of reacting to phenomena. We often wish that people’s personality, traits, and attitude towards us would never change; if they would change, they’d change for the better. But what do we mean in changing for the better: better for us, or better for them?

We naturally, forcefully, and intentionally change in almost every aspect in life. There are so many factors and stimuli for change. For example, when we age, our hair turns white; our voice deepens, our skin sags, and our memory fails us. When time passes by, some get impatient and some get more patient, others get more irritable and the rest get less irritable, we become selfish or selfless. The changes in us all depend on the chemicals in our body, our feelings and emotions, and other external factors that really affect us.

While we accept the physical changes in people, we often want to stay the same when it comes to the values and attitude of people. Why is that so?

For me, we tend to wish that people “won’t change” because we like/love the people we like/love for who they are. If any aspect of what we like/love about one person changes for the worse, we might end up hating that person. We wish to have a stable relationship with people, despite our differences. It’s already hard to accept people for their whole personhood; what more if that person would change after accepting him/her?

That’s the challenge for us today: to accept change. We have to accept that everything is changing, whether it’s for the better or for the worse. We have to accept that everything is temporary, that even people’s treatment towards us can be something that can’t be the same as it was before. After all, we are all just human – full of imperfections.

I, myself, have a hard time accepting the changes in people, especially if I’m so used to certain people treating me in a certain way. It’s hard to adjust to other people while adjusting to myself, especially that I am bipolar. I would just wish that people would understand how much I need people to be there for me all the time. People with changing attitudes towards me frustrate me a lot, and it makes me depressed and unable to perform daily tasks like going to school.

I would sometimes wish that people wouldn’t change, but I know that it’s impossible for that to happen. So, I try to accept things and people as they are – changing.

Heaven + Hell = Earth

Being in a relationship feels like heaven and hell at the same time. Heaven, because of obvious reasons. Hell, because of relationship problems, personal insecurities concerning your partner, and other priorities. By other priorities, I mean school for us teens.

Being in school feels like heaven and hell, too. Heaven, because we get to meet new people and we get to learn the ways of the world. Hell, because of obvious reasons. Come on, why do we hate school?

Now, if you put being in a relationship and school, specifically college, together, what do you get? Earth.

Why Earth? Well, life on Earth is heaven and hell at the same time. You get both the good stuff and the bad stuff, one after the other, sometimes even at the same time. Balancing school and a romantic relationship is an earthly thing. There’s no such thing in heaven or in hell.

Now, how is it like balancing romance and college? I’ll answer that by telling you the story of my first semester of college.

Being the weakling that I am, I had a hard time adjusting to UP life. With the school nights came requirements and tears. Requirements came in naturally, as professors were required to have concrete basis for our grades. What I didn’t expect were the tears that rolled down my cheeks every night. Not being able to read the readings for the next Kasaysayan meeting was why I shed tears at night. And so I confide with my knight in shining armor, Kelvin.

The good thing about having a love life in college is that when you are close to giving up on your work, you have someone to push you to do better. You have someone who will inspire you to work. After all, don’t you want a future with your partner? So you’d work harder for the future of you two as a couple, or even as a family. You also gain a study buddy, especially if you and your partner are from the same school, let alone the same batch or same course.

There came a time when Kelvin would be the one to confide to me. See, he’s not good in Filipino, so he would plead to me so that I would help him with his requirements. But there were times that when he would plead, I would have something to do. And so, I would end up choosing him before me. Also, when he’s busy, I want to talk to him. When I’m busy, he wants to talk to me. When we would meet, we were both tired. And lastly, we once fought because of his wish to remove the Filipino subject in college.

The not-so good thing about having a love life in college is setting your priorities straight: you would have a hard time choosing between hanging out with your partner or doing your research paper. Also, you’re both stressed. How can you manage to keep constant communication? One more thing on stress: if you’re both stressed, you tend to have misunderstandings. Then, you would fight. Then, you’d feel bad and you wouldn’t want to be productive; double whammy for the both of you. But hey, if you love each other, you would endure that. You would, you would.

See, college is hard. Being in a relationship is hard. But both things are fun, too. Both will give you stress. Stress will give you a hard time, but no living person on Earth lives without stress. Just think of that the next time you and your boyfriend fight over a Geometry problem. Now that’s earthly.

~

This post was requested by a good friend of mine, Renee Rebong. 🙂

Think Twice

I am currently sitting in front of my cousins, who are in the middle of a dance rehearsal. They’re getting ready for a dance number for our upcoming family reunions. Some are getting the dance steps, and some are confused. Some are at the verge of giving up, and I’m sitting here, watching them. I want to join them. I know I can dance. But then I see my reflection in the mirror, and I see a six-inch scar on my knee. Oh right, I had a knee surgery six months ago. I can’t dance.

People often take things for granted. Well, it’s really more than often. We always take things for granted, not realizing how other people cannot do everything that we do. We take our sight sight for granted. We take our able legs for granted. We take our health for granted. We take our skills and talents for granted. We take the people around us for granted. We take our surroundings for granted. We take our lives for granted.

We seldom realize how lucky and blessed we are. It would take a major event in the lives of others or a natural phenomenon before we realize that we have so many things to be thankful for. We would always complain about our little misfortunes without thinking about the greater misfortunes of the majority of the Earth’s population. We always focus on the bad, never on the good.

With this, I propose a challenge to you, my dear reader. Get a notebook, and make it your “Grateful Notebook”. Everyday, list down one thing that you were grateful for on that day. On your low days, read everything that you wrote down. After that, I hope you realize how blessed you are.

It’s better if you are also able to help someone who needs a hand after reading your Grateful Notebook. For me, it’s a way of appreciating what you have. You are not only able to give thanks, but you are also able to make someone smile. You might be the person to make her day. You’ll never know.

So the next time you complain, think twice.

Lessons Learned Series: Consultation Period

Tinanong ko yung sarili ko: hanggang dito nalang ba ako? – Sir Naic

Consultation period was from 1:00-3:30pm, but I stayed until 4pm. I consulted with two chemistry teachers about chemistry and life as a student. I’ve heard similar words before, but thank you Sir Naic for reminding me to exceed my current standing in life.

Renee and Miss Alie were talking about college in the early hours of the consultation period. Sir Naic talked to a different set of friends and I about his struggles as a student. Hearing my teachers talk about how difficult it is to study terrified me because this will get tougher. Things will get worse, but I have to do all that I can, and do it now. He shared to us one of his hobbies: playing video games. He told us that he did play when he was young, but it is really more important to study first. “Sa paglalaro ko, napansin ko na naglelevel-up yung character ko. E ako? Naglelevel-up ba ako sa paglalaro ko? So, nag-aral ako.” If I do all the hard work now, I will really benefit from it in the future. Sir Naic remembered a quote he got from Ateneo, and it goes like this: pain is temporary, but glory is forever.

He also told us that when he doesn’t have a problem, he looks for one. Well, not really a problem. Maybe challenge is a better word. He told us that challenges bring out our capabilities, and it is through challenges that one will know one’s limitations. But one must never settle; one should keep on testing one’s limitations. He told us to just keep on pushing, especially in this time when we have all the means to push and strive hard.

He told us many more things that made my droopy eyes wide open again (not in a literal sense though; I was wide awake). I was awakened once more, and I was determined to push my limits to the sky. Although I still did not do my (I mean our) investigatory project after 4pm (ohnoez what if Miss Alie reads this…), I did study for our forms tomorrow. As the first term comes to a close, I am more determined to do better in the upcoming terms. It’s my third year in high school; one more year, and it’s hello UP (or Ateneo or UST or maybe La Salle…just maybe). I want to leave a good mark in high school. I want to remember high school as the years when I suffered a lot, yet I came out victorious. I want to achieve a lot, in whatever way possible.

 

Well, maybe writing a blog post won’t get me anywhere, but maybe the words of Sir Naic in this post might inspire others as they inspired me.

~

The “consultation period” also brought out my inner sabaw self. Well, it’s Tuesday, and Tuesday is Soup Day! We talked about random stuff between 2-3pm. A classmate of mine even had a pick-up line. It was brought up because we were talking about Geometry so here it goes.

A: Are you good in algebra?

B: (Yes/no). Why?

A: Can you replace my x?

~Well, no one replaces x (we find the value of it), but you get the picture. 😀