They say that the only permanent thing in this world is change. Seasons change, things change, people change. It’s obvious that it happens, but we sometimes have a hard time accepting that reality, especially when it comes to people.
People change and develop throughout their whole lifetime, but there are some things that don’t change within a person. It may be their personality, their traits, their habits, their tendencies, their way of reacting to phenomena. We often wish that people’s personality, traits, and attitude towards us would never change; if they would change, they’d change for the better. But what do we mean in changing for the better: better for us, or better for them?
We naturally, forcefully, and intentionally change in almost every aspect in life. There are so many factors and stimuli for change. For example, when we age, our hair turns white; our voice deepens, our skin sags, and our memory fails us. When time passes by, some get impatient and some get more patient, others get more irritable and the rest get less irritable, we become selfish or selfless. The changes in us all depend on the chemicals in our body, our feelings and emotions, and other external factors that really affect us.
While we accept the physical changes in people, we often want to stay the same when it comes to the values and attitude of people. Why is that so?
For me, we tend to wish that people “won’t change” because we like/love the people we like/love for who they are. If any aspect of what we like/love about one person changes for the worse, we might end up hating that person. We wish to have a stable relationship with people, despite our differences. It’s already hard to accept people for their whole personhood; what more if that person would change after accepting him/her?
That’s the challenge for us today: to accept change. We have to accept that everything is changing, whether it’s for the better or for the worse. We have to accept that everything is temporary, that even people’s treatment towards us can be something that can’t be the same as it was before. After all, we are all just human – full of imperfections.
I, myself, have a hard time accepting the changes in people, especially if I’m so used to certain people treating me in a certain way. It’s hard to adjust to other people while adjusting to myself, especially that I am bipolar. I would just wish that people would understand how much I need people to be there for me all the time. People with changing attitudes towards me frustrate me a lot, and it makes me depressed and unable to perform daily tasks like going to school.
I would sometimes wish that people wouldn’t change, but I know that it’s impossible for that to happen. So, I try to accept things and people as they are – changing.