A Song for You

*This is a very rare post about “love”. Enjoy it; it may be the last.*

Everyday, I look for a song for you, but I never find any song out of the 2,400 songs I have in iTunes. I have difficulty in searching for guitar chords in the Internet so that I could record a cover dedicated to you. Not even “A Song for You” by The Carpenters can be my song for you. I really want to sing you a song… I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT SONG TO SING!

I’ve always wanted to write songs… I’ve already written two, and none of them are good for you to hear (I was young then so yeah). I wrote about love even without an inspiration… Hmm maybe that’s why my songs suck. Now that I have you, I STILL CAN’T WRITE A SONG!

Maybe it’s because I’m not fond of poetry… Or I lack experience… Or I’m hiding things…

I want to tell you how much I like you, but I don’t want to tell you at the same time. I want you to know so bad; so bad that I eng up imagining this everyday: one day, we were walking in the park and you slipped your hand in mine and told me that you love me and you want to be with me forever. But what if you would never slip your hand in mine? This is why I don’t want to tell you: everything will be on the line. I don’t want to jeopardize whatever we have right now, but…

I can’t write songs because I’m not like those fearless songwriters who let the whole world know that s/he loves this person because like this, like that. Well, I also lack the gift of playing with words beautifully in poetry. Oh, and I kind of lack in the musicality part (not the singing). But despite these hindrances, I will still write a song for you… I just don’t know if I’ll sing it to you.

I know that you may or may not slip your hand into mine, but how will I know if I won’t try and find out? Confessing to someone that you like him/her is so hard (according to those who have experience), but keeping everything to oneself will not do anything (unless the person you like likes you back and s/he makes the first move). It’s just… See? I can’t even complete my sentences. IT’S COMPLICATED! THERE YOU GO!

Still, I will write you a song. Maybe the time will come that you will hear that song and you’ll realize that the song was actually written for you. Maybe after hearing that song, you’d go to me and hug me and tell me that you feel the same way. Maybe. Just maybe.

Forgive me, for I have digressed too much in this blog post. And this is a pretty shallow and sabaw post, so forgive me. I cannot contain my feelings!

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Korean Pop

Nobody, Fire, Sorry Sorry, Lollipop, Gara Go, I Don’t Care, SEOUL, Bonamana, Gee, Hoot, Hot Issue, Mr. Taxi, Lonely, The Boys, Superman, Mr. Simple and Gangnam Style: these songs by The Wonder Girls, 2NE1, Girls’ Generation, BigBang, 4Minute, Super Junior and Psy were the only Korean Pop, or K-Pop, songs that I knew of yesterday.

I was randomly searching for random apps for my iTouch, then I came across a series of Shake games (similar to TapTap Revenge) that are dedicated to various K-Pop groups/artists. I downloaded Super Junior Shake, and I can only play two songs (but they’re both snippets) because I need to pay if I want to play all. So I played “Here We Go” and” Happy Together”, and those snippets made me want to listen more. Suddenly, I realized why Filipinos are so into K-Pop and J-Pop. The songs are so nice and catchy, even if we don’t understand the lyrics (thank goodness they incorporated some English into their songs).

It’s so nice how Asian music is going global now. It’s so nice how young (and maybe a few middle aged) Filipinos like other Asian artists. I just hope that someday, the music industry in the Philippines would be as lively as the music industries in Japan and Korea. I hope OPM today would be as wonderful as it was in the time of Rivermaya, Parokya ni Edgar and Eraserheads with songs like Himala, Ang Huling El Bimbo and Harana.

I appreciate Filipino and Western music. I think it’s about time that I go and appreciate the whole of the East.

My Music On Standby

This summer, I did not enroll in UP’s College of Music Extension Program’s summer classes. This could have been my third year; it may have been a preparation for the audition of my lifetime when it’s time to apply for college. I was disheartened by my last voice teacher’s words, even if they were meant to encourage me to push harder. My dreams of becoming a (musical) theater artist shattered. I knew that summer that the path that I wanted to pursue wasn’t for me.

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I asked for a keyboard (as in piano okay not a computer keyboard) on my 14th birthday. I told myself that I would learn how to play the piano. Then summer 2011 came: I learned the basics for the second time around. Then, I truly realized why I stopped learning how to play when I was younger: I don’t know how to read the notes properly. Now, my father’s money has been wasted… but I want to use the piano… Well, I do know which notes sound nice together…

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I once said that my best friends are a pen, a notebook and my guitar; typical things used by young songwriters. To tell the truth, my brother is better than me when it comes to playing the guitar. Another truth is that I suck at poetry, and that my life experiences are not song-worthy. When I play around with chords, and I get a good melody, I usually put random words into it. It turns out to sound good. The problem is, I don’t get to jot down on a notebook what I’ve made. If I do jot down while playing with words and chords, different things come out, and they turn out to be ugly. If a pen, a notebook, and my guitar is lying before me, and I don’t have anything in mind, I pick up my guitar, play and write things for the sake of writing. I really don’t get it why Taylor Swift can write a hit song in like 30 minutes at 2am. I sing, I write, I make good melodies, but songwriting (as in lyrics)  isn’t my thing.

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A month ago, I was kind of serious when I held my guitar and started singing “Dear John” by Taylor Swift. I thought to myself, “I’ll do a cover and I’ll post it on YouTube or SoundCloud”. That may be my temporary solution to my thirst for my impending music “career”. I already have a YouTube account, and I just made a SoundCloud account. I think I want to get serious with this. Ever since I was little, I’ve been belting Celine Dion songs; I’ve been wanting to sing and to bring music to the world since I don’t know. But how? Making covers isn’t my thing, but I’d really want to start there for now.