Why Bash Religion and Faith?

I’m not religious or spiritual, but when people bash on my religion or the religion of others, my blood pressure rises. Hello, it’s like bashing me too.

Look, I totally understand why there are so many religions in the world. Of course, not everyone agrees with the same idea. All religions have flaws, just like everything on this world. Why? Because humans aren’t perfect. What I don’t understand is the presence of religion bashing.

Let’s see. Why do others bash religions? The way I see it, it’s basically because according to their interpretation of sacred text, what the other religion believes in/practices is not based on sacred text or is against their interpretation. The way I see it, it’s a form of encouraging people to convert into their religion. Hey, spreading the Word of God is good, as long as you’re not stepping on anyone.

I will no longer spill out my rage here. I might say things that I’m not supposed to say. I’d just like to remind everyone that it is not religion that will save us. Faith in God and good deeds towards our neighbors will.

PEACE OUT YO.

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Domino – The Sad Side Of My Bipolar II Story

You wouldn’t know if a person is depressed or sensitive at one look. You have to talk to that person to find out. So be careful with what you say and how you say it. You may ruin someone’s life with it.

This has been the longest time that I’ve been depressed – 10 days straight.

It all started on November 17, a Monday. I went on a trip to my nutritionist. I haven’t been a good girl when it comes to my food, but I try my best to control myself. But my best is never good enough. The lady in her 60s encircled all the excess food I ate in my food diary, and told me how much of a bad girl I am in front of my mom. My aura changed in an instant, my eyes started to water with salty tears. I tried to smile when she joked around, hiding the pain in my chest.

I went home offended. I wish I had the chance to tell her how hard I tried to fight my cravings, how hard I tried to controlled my depression. But no, I was mum. I was hit hard. It was like I was stoned.

I lost my spirit over 30 minutes in that grumpy old woman’s office. It was like I lost myself. I lost my self-control, my determination, my will. I sulked in my room and I was pretty grumpy too. I thought too badly of myself.

But hey, even if I was a bad girl, she should have held back her words and lowered her voice. She’s supposed to encourage people to reach their goal. Well, I may be sensitive, but man, no one fully knows what a person is going through! (Lesson learned: be kind to one another.)

And so I was pretty much jaded for two days. I was so jaded to the point when I did not attend classes. I burned paper after not burning personal stuff for a year. I missed out on an important deadline on the 19th, and I explained to my professor what has been going on. I felt a little bit lighter, and so I was quite happy again.

But the agony of waiting for the professor’s reply to my email drained my energy and joy. I lost my willpower to work on my paper, not to mention my interest in my topic as well. As I attended class the next meeting, I was told to submit an output on the same day. I wasn’t done. I almost cried. Fighting the tears in my eyes, I listened to the discussion on logical fallacies. After class, she told me that I can submit today. I was overjoyed, and I couldn’t thanked her enough.

But alas, I got drained again. I was so depressed because I couldn’t organize my thoughts. I lost my interest in my topic. I felt lifeless. And so I was frustrated yesterday because I couldn’t write. I slept and slept. I missed out on my appointment with my psychiatrist this morning. I had food delivered just to be happy. But I never smiled.

At last, I finished the paper, because I had to. Maybe I got drained because I knew that I would get a grade of 3, 4 or 5. But hey, at least I’m finished with the paper. And so, I wrote this to celebrate.

Why did I write this?
This is to remind people to be nice and kind to others. This is to remind people that there are many of us who have this medical condition (and many more mental health issues). This is to remind people that not everything we say is okay. This is to remind people that sometimes, we have to be a little more sensitive.

I wish to be a little bit happier starting tomorrow, despite the fact that I have a lot on my shoulders.

(If Only) I Knew You Were Trouble: Facebook

I’ve been a victim of feeling disappointed and discouraged over negative Facebook comments. But, I’m not the only one who goes through this. Feeling disappointed over social networking is actually a reason why other people don’t have social networking accounts. This is also why people unfriend their Facebook friends. This is why some people get the feeling that they are bullied. This is why others get depressed. Social networking is actually good, but bad contents can ruin it.

So before scrolling down on your news feed, take a while to read how other teenagers think about the negatives of social media.

 

So, what is social networking for? Aira says “it’s one way of communicating with my schoolmates since most (if not all) of them have accounts. Also, I have relatives who live abroad and it really does help in keeping in touch with them.” In deed, social networking is a form of communication, whether you’re communicating to the person beside you or to someone who is miles away. It’s also a venue to express oneself, since social networking could also be microblogging. Social networking is one of the countless ways to show the world that you exist.

Many of us post about our interests, experiences, and whatever is going on in our lives in social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, to name a few. Why do we post? Well, we want to share to the world what we’re going through. That is, if we want to share. I myself love sharing whatever is going on in my life to my friends and family here and abroad. So, I post stuff, but I filter them. I asked Aira if she does the same. She says that she doesn’t post as often as others (maybe like me) do. “I just don’t see the need to post every little detail of my day. I mean, if I went to an important event, vacation, or see something that’s related to my personal interest, I would post about them because it’s something special but that doesn’t happen often”, she says.

But hey, let’s face it: we all see comments and posts on the internet that hurt and offend us. Lucky for Aira, she hasn’t experienced getting negative comment, but she does know when she sees one. “If the post itself is something negative and offending, I don’t really mind the negativity it inevitably attracts. That person needs to be told off that he/she is wrong. But if the comment’s on a completely respectable post come from unreasonable hate, mindless jealousy and bitterness… It disturbs me. It frustrates me. But I don’t reply to them because I know that I’m just putting fuel to the fire if I give even the slightest reaction. Negative comments shouldn’t be given attention because that’s what they’re seeking.”

Roie has received negative comments on social networks. So, how does she react? “It depends. There are times that I feel annoyed pero hindi naman tumatagal. Tipong after a few minutes, okay na ako. There are times naman na sobrang naaapektuhan ako to the point na I have this urge to block that person.” (It depends. There are times that I feel annoyed, but that feeling doesn’t last. After a few minutes, I’m already okay. But there are times that I get so affected to the point that I have this urge to block that person). On her view of those who say those negative comments, Roie says “at first, hinahayaan ko lang. May kanya kanya naman tayong opinyon diba? Kaso nung lumala na, yung consistent na niyang ginagawa yun, napapa-iling nalang ako. Although dumating din yung time na medyo naawa ako kasi ganun yung pag-iisip/pag-uugali niya.” (At first, I let them be. We are entitled to our own opinion, right? But when it gets worse, when the comments are consistently offending, I get turned off by her. Although there comes a time when I feel bad for him/her because that is her way of thinking/attitude.)

Axl says “How do I deal with negative comments? Hmm… Paano nga ba? Ako kasi, tinatawanan ko lang eh. At least kung may negative comments man. Tinetake ko ‘to as good pa rin so that alam ko kung anong mala kaya sila may negative comment.” (How do I deal with negative comments? Hmm…how do I? Well, I just simply laugh at them. At least when there are negative comments. I still take them as good so that I know what’s wrong that’s why they have negative comments). Well, she is right. Sometimes what we write can offend others, too. So it’s best to review what we write.

I have received bad comments on Facebook, too. Those were not pleasant experiences. One was clearly offensive, and the other sounded rude. How did I deal with them? Well, I felt bad. Being the sensitive girl I am who isn’t 100% healed from depression, I took them hardly.I cried to my friends about it. There was even a point when I had to deactivate my social networking accounts just to make myself feel better. I also unfriended those who said those bad comments. I felt better after doing so. A few months after, the rude comment came. What did I do? I just told my friends about it. Releasing the feelings made me feel lighter without unfriending that person who wrote that bad comment. Even when I saw that person in school, there was only a little teeny tiny pang of hurt. I decided to let it pass by. Feeling good about negative comments is not easy, but I’ll get there.

As for those who are experiencing the same problem as mine, here are some tips from fellow users of social networking sites. Aira believes that ignoring those nasty comments will do you good, unless they cross the line. “Just ignore them. You shouldn’t waste your energy and your time on something as petty as negative comments. But if it is extremely offending and obscene, report it. A lot of social networking sites provide services for this kind of problems and you should take advantage of them.”

As for Roie, premature reactions based of pure feelings are not to be entertained at the beginning. “As much as possible, huwag muna masyadong magrereact. Yung iba kasi sinasagot agad. Kumbaga bugso ng damdamin ang nangingibabaw sakanila. May mga times din kasing indirect yung post/comment. May iba feeling nila para sa kanila yun kaya kadalasan sinasagot nila yung taong yun o hindi kaya binoblock agad. Hindi muna nila iniisip yung possible reasons kung bakit nasabi/napost yon. Kung direct post naman lalo na kung kilala mo yung taong yon, pwede mo siyang i-confront nalang privately. Either, in person  kayo mag-usap o kaya tawagan mo.” (As much as possible, don’t react too much right away. Some people just reply right away. It’s like their feelings are the ones who control them. There are also times when a post or comment is indirect. There are others who think that the post was meant for them, so they reply right away or they block the person. They don’t think of the possible reasons why the said post/comment was posted. If it is a direst post, you can confront the person privately, especially if you know the person. One can do it either in person or through phone).

Axl advises to not take those comments seriously because people naturally say negative things about others. “Advice ko lang, ‘wag nilang masyadong dibdibin kung ano man ang sasabihin ng tao. Alam naman natin na kahit anong gawin natin, hindi natin maiiwasan na may masabing negative ang mga tao. Instead na masamain natin, intindihin na lang natin sila and take it as positive comments pa din so that next time di na natin gawin ung ayaw nila.” (My advise is that you shouldn’t take whatever people say to heart. We all know that no matter what we do, we are unsure if people would say bad things about it. Instead of taking them negatively, let’s just understand those people and take those comments constructively and positively so that next time, we won’t do what they don’t like.) I understand her point, but I think that just because other people don’t like it, we shouldn’t do certain things already. I believe that we should just be ourselves, but be cautious.

Sofia puts things simple and straight to the point. “Ignore them or prove them wrong.”

Alie takes things in a biblical context. “Take every thought captive. [Read] Philippians 4:8. Focus lang sa mga bagay na nandun sa verse na yun. Pag di aligned dun, do not take them in to your system. Mahirap gawin. Ako nga kailangan ko pang i-remind ang sarili ko to do it.” (Take every thought captive. [Read} Philippians 4:8. Focus on those written in that verse. If your thoughts are not in line with the verse, do not take them in to your system. It’s difficult to do. I even have to remind myself to do it).

Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV): Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

As for me, talk to your best friend about what you feel (much emphasis on what you FEEL). Ask people for comfort and reassurance. But, one should learn how to stand on her own feet in the end. Letting things out makes people good (just not violently).

The bottom line is, social networking is actually good, but bad contents can ruin it. Social networking is a good invention, for it can connect us to anyone and everyone. But, we should be reminded that social networking can be bad, too. Relationships and moods can get destroyed just because of a single comment or post. There are many ways to deal with these comments. If one does not want to get bothered by that person anymore, nothing is wrong with blocking or unfriending. But if one does not want to pursue that, just take things light and think happy thoughts. You can even talk to that person who posted something not so good about what happened, or just talk to someone about it.

But one should always remember that things will turn out to be alright eventually.

Social networking is on the internet. Whether you delete something from the internet or not, it stays in the minds of everyone who saw it forever. To end, I’d like to quote GMA News on their view on social networking. “Think before you click”.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

Special thanks to my girls Axl Esguerra, Aira Leung, Roie Moralde, Sofia Nacpil and Alie Tumbaga for letting me interview them for this post.